It’s easy to say that we take care of ourselves but for many of us it can be very had staying in the practice of Self Care. Before I started writing this article I was at a mental tug of war with to write or to sit my butt down and do nothing. I was exhausted from healing others but placed pressure on myself to get this article out. Quickly becoming aware of my own personal self-care (which is something that a lot of healers often neglect) I decided to give myself some ease and relaxation before writing. With the energy of last week, I knew it was important that people innerstood the importance of self-care. It wasn’t until speaking with my beautiful friend Ebone’ that I was reminded on how important it is for us to stay grounded but how even more important it is for us to know how to get back grounded. I’ve found myself working hard to get into practice and ritual creating balance and centering only to find myself receiving the influence of the world or being receptive to low vibrational energies. How the heck did I get here when I know and have access to all the tools I need? And how the heck do I get back grounded?
First, we must start with defining what self-care is and why it’s important anyway.
The term self-care describes the actions that an individual might take in order to reach optimal physical and mental health.
You know that lower back pain, that headache, those sinuses that won’t go away even though you tried all sorts of remedies. Those are telltale signs that your body is out of balance and that its time to slow down and take care of yourself.
Have you given yourself permission to relax? Did you know that it was ok to give yourself permission? It’s easy to neglect taking care of ourselves when we are so busy being busy and overwhelmed. The desire to succeed can keep us out of balanced with the present moment. How aligned am I with the present moment? How present am I with how I feel? It’s safe to allow yourself to feel (it can easily turn unsafe when you allow yourself to get stuck in a negative low vibrational emotions). Liberation comes from feeling and embracing.
Self-care is important, but some people think it’s selfish or inconsiderate. We know self-care makes you more effective and energetic. When you avoid things that make you feel physically and mentally well, you deplete your confidence and self-esteem. Self-care is important to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself, sometimes called self-love. It produces positive feelings, which improves confidence and self-esteem too.
Self-care is important for your family and friends. They learn from you, so setting functional boundaries to take care of yourself shows them that they too need to put themselves first and not overextend or overwork. Unhealthy relationships come about when you don’t take time for your needs.
Here are a few tools that can get your self-care practice flowing.
Self-Care tools for the Mind
1. Do You. Do one thing today because it truly makes you happy. This could be something you haven’t done in a while.
2. Disconnect. Turn everything off for an hour, no phone, no email, no text, no social media, no news, no thoughts. Disconnect and be with yourself.
3. Give Yourself Credit. Praise yourself, give yourself thanks, congratulate yourself for something awesome you do. Don’t dismiss your own greatness.
4. Take a Nappy Nap. Napping is a wonderfully way to recharge and can reduce your sleep debt and give you an energetic boost. Sneak a 10-30min nappy nap in.
5. Think Less Love More. Stop overthinking, you don’t have all the answers and life is forever changing so stop trying to figure it out. Sometimes over-thinking it all can get you in trouble. You miss out on the journey you’re on when you’re stuck only in your head. Trust the journey and move out of your head.
6. Stop Looking at What Everyone Else is Doing. Comparing yourself to others with envy robs you of appreciation for the sacred place your life is in at any given moment. Everyone has had their own long journey and you don’t know what that journey has been like for them. Where they’ve struggled, what mistakes they’ve made. Use any jealousy you feel as your guide, it’s just showing you what you want in life. Let it lead you to take actions that advance your goals.
7. It is what is it. And sometimes you must let it be exactly what it is. Things you can’t change, things you can’t help but feel. Its ok to give those things a break, give yourself a break. You can’t control everything and sometimes you just have to let it go.
8. Forgive Yourself and Forgive Others. Forgiveness is one of our most powerful allies. Forgive the people in your life who harmed you and forgive yourself for your own mistakes and you will liberate yourself from pain, anger, resentment and negativity. Anger, grudges and resentment hurt no one more than the person holding them.
9. Stay Away from Negative People/ Don’t Be a Negative Person. Those “friends” who always have something negative to say and can never seem to be able to find happiness for themselves or anyone else. It’s time to let those people go, they are not the type of friends you need. I had a crew of friends once who loved to talk badly about everyone around them. They lived a superficial life with no concept of themselves so it was easily to talk about everyone else. And I’d find myself joining in because it’s what they wanted to talk about. Afterwards I always felt so off balance. Don’t get drawn into negativity. It brings down your vibration. People who have nothing but negative things to say about everyone are unhappy with themselves. Always remember who you are and who you want to be. Be nice to people, to everyone. Support people and their dreams. Love as you’d want to be loved. We can all be nicer and do better. What matters is that we try.
10. Just BE. Be WONDERFUL, Be HAPPY, Be YOU because BEing you is enough! It takes a lot of mental capacity and is also very draining when we spend time trying to be anything other than who we are. BE YOU!
Here are Tools for Getting Back Grounded and Staying Grounded.
Tools for Grounding
1. Be Still. We live in such a rushed, over-stimulated, over connected society. Find somewhere beautiful – a park, the woods, your kitchen – and just sit there, still. Absorb the sound of the wind through the trees, the light and the shadows, the peace, and just appreciate the stillness. It’s meditative and calming. Make time for stillness regularly.
2. Run to Nature. Nature has a way of nurturing our souls. Go breath, listen, be one with nature and allow her to hold you. Go hug a tree, I promise it will be the best hug of your life. Tree exercises such as hugging a tree or visualizing yourself as a tree with roots that extend from your feet into the earth are perfect for grounding.
3. Pamper Your Physical Body. When we are feeling off balance it can stem from us being to present in the minds of others and not enough presents in our own being. Take time to love your body, your vessel for change and healing.
4. Talk Out Loud. This is the perfect time to commune with your Ancestors, Spirit Guides, Orisha’s, Deities or Angels Friends. Ask for grounding, ask for balance, ask to be lead to those things that will bring you peace in the mind and body. They are standing by wanting to be of assistance. Talk out loud and let them know what you need. Be still and receive.
5. Cry. Crying is a beautiful therapy and as a society we don’t cry enough. Only in pain, only in grief, only when suppression has had enough. It’s totally ok to cry, safe to cry and healing to cry. Crying has nothing to do with weakness and you can cry even in times of happiness. Release that Super Being Complex and stop suppressing your emotions. Give yourself permission to feel by giving yourself permission to cry.
6. Aromatherapy. The use of essential oils such as; sandalwood, cedarwood, frankincense, peppermint, lavender, patchouli, vetiver, and angelica can help you get into your body and help with staying connected to your physical body.
7. Crystals. Carry with you or wear crystals such as tiger’s eye, garnet, hematite, onyx, and copper. Crystals have been used for millennia to heal and bring balance. They work through resonance and vibrations.
8. Eat Right. Eating food such as dark chocolate, root vegetables, proteins, and nuts help us ground instantly.
9. Balance that Root Chakra. Your root chakra might need balancing if you feel controlling or quick to anger. If you lack confidence and insufficient drive to achieve simple life goals. When your root chakra is balanced, you have energy and self-confidence rather than arrogance or fear, and you feel calm, centered and ready for life. Here’s a wonderful article on Root Chakra Healing Techniques.
10. LOVE/Support System. Call, run, find your Love System and allow them to support you. I like to say that when we want to go out and have fun we call on our tribe. When we need to heal or need helping getting through something we often do this alone. Healing takes community the same way that celebration takes community. We are here to be together. Make sure your love system is a safe space. Make sure you make yourself a safe space for others in your love system. People need to feel protected and safe with their emotions and feelings. Your Love/Support System should be an ego free safe space zone.
Move Love Always,
H. Alejaibra Badu
Master Love/Life Coach & Intuitive Energy Healer